Read Matthew 19:1-12

“³ Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” ⁴ “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ ” ⁵ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ ⁶ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.””

Jesus is openly affirming of traditional, Christian marriage. This not only includes the basic structure for marriage between one man and one woman but the divinely guided fusion of their two lives into “one flesh”. This union creates a new entity made up of two separate individuals that God personally joins together as “one”.

However, if we look around at our own families and neighbourhoods, many of these once-happy unions are now torn apart. So, while God does the joining, it is fallible human beings who are responsible for the dividing.

Clearly, Jesus is speaking to husbands and wives, reminding them of his desire for them to honour not just each other, but the union God has created between them. However, we would be naive to think that the only people who can influence a marriage are the spouses who are in it! A thriving marriage requires not only the presence of other people willing to foster the union and invest in the individuals but also protection from anyone who would seek to “split apart what God has joined”! 

If we’re willing, we have an opportunity to heed Jesus’ call to not only help married couples live out the unified expression God designed for them, but also to avoid being complicit in splitting them apart. While there are times when divorce may be a valid option, we may be an unwitting participant in a divorce in a number of ways. We could be a third party that actively breaks the marriage covenant. Alternatively, we could passively contribute to divorce by watching from the sidelines without being willing to intervene or encourage reconciliation.

As followers of Jesus, we need to honour this concept of “one-ness” as a picture of His design for not just marriage but community, family and church. We can shape our conversations to honour, rather than dishonour, our own spouses. Without hiding from the deep challenges of marriage, we can encourage the married couples around us to embrace God’s design and pursue a thriving, intimate union despite the sacrifices required. Finally, for those who know God personally, we can be assured that he has united himself with us forever! It’s from this place of union with God that we are able to promote the same with our spouse or for the married couples around us.

Is there a “one flesh” union that you are in or around that you celebrate and champion with God?