#38 Go to Christians who offend you

Matthew 18:10-20

15 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector… 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

If you’ve lived for a day with another Christian you’ll know that even followers of Jesus – even the “best” ones – sin against each other. The question isn’t if, but when. Given Jesus’ constant reminders to love each other, it may come as a surprise that he teaches us in Matthew 18 that we are to “go” and tell them their fault. For Jesus, just like his ‘great commission’ to take his good news to the world, restoring relationships with those who sin against us is meant to be dealt with proactively.

As a prelude to this teaching and an explanation for how important it is to, ‘go’, Jesus tells the “parable of the lost sheep”, one of Jesus’ most famous stories. In this parable, Jesus outlines that like a shepherd who has 100 sheep, but one goes missing, God’s heart is to pursue anyone who wanders and becomes separated from him and his people. With this story as a backdrop, Jesus makes it clear that we are to do likewise! When there is conflict, separation, or even just a wandering, we are to pursue that person. The goal Jesus has for us isn’t to simply “call them out” on their sin but to “call them back in” to relationship and family.

The last sentence in this passage, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” is critical to understanding why this should matter to us. This passage is usually quoted with a focus on an expectation that Jesus’ presence is promised wherever “two or more” Christians gather. However, the context encourages us to remember how important it is for him to have all his “sheep” living together in harmony.

If our focus is merely expecting Jesus to be with us, we have missed the point. If Jesus is present wherever two or more are gathered, then we shouldn’t want anyone to miss out! Rather, Jesus is calling our focus to those who are not present with us due to our unwillingness to restore our relationship with them. Furthermore, Jesus may even be hinting that ‘if you value your own experience of me without sharing my heart for the “lost sheep” who are separated from you, then you may not know me as well as you think!’

Like a shepherd who has lost one of his precious sheep, Jesus calls us to, “Go now! Lay out the fault that you may be restored as family. Remember, they are missing out on not just a relationship with you, but time with you in my presence”. In short, don’t keep the beauty and power of the Christian community to yourself. Jesus came for us all and desires us all to be together as one.